Day 48: They say

Go out they say, you'll feel better, they say....... WRONG!!! I feel like a big pile of......_______!! I got myself out everyday this week. Big deal, I know!! Ya'll get out everyday....consider yourself lucky. I just wish people wouldn't judge me. You don't know my struggles, you don't know my life. Maybe I should become an a$$____, and start judging others?! Since everyone else seems to know how to make my life better, maybe I should do the same. Why don't you try this? Or try that? Or do this? Or do that? I get people think they are trying to help, but it's not. It ends up hurting my feelings, because how I feel can be simply changed if I do this, or that. You didn't think I thought of those things as well?! I am having a very frustrating time with all of this, and especially when test, after test keeps coming back negative. If I was you, I'd think I was nuts, and it's all in my head, too. I know my body, and I know something is off. I'm so tired of having to get defense because I always hear, "Weeellllllll, you should try doing ____. And it's the most annoying freaking thing in the world. If you are not paying my medical bills, or know a damn thing about my health, then keep you're medical advise to yourself. Some of you sound like idiots cause you don't know what you are talking about. Oops, did I say that?! Some will get this, and some will think I've gone nuts, some will roll their eyes, and talk smack, some will just keep scrolling......keep scrolling. They say the older you get, the more ornery you become. Gotta go with it!!